Addicted: Grief - 2 Corinthians 7:10

Addicted: Grief – 2 Corinthians 7:10
I will never pander (tell you want you want to hear). We prefer the sky fairly god who flutters about to touch everybody, to the God of the Bible (wildly unpopular), who tends to stamp His enemies until His feet are covered with blood, but we don’t like to talk about that God. And so, I will be honest and tell you up front that your problem and mine is your/my wicked heart(s). To tell you anything less would be pandering and wasting your time.
· Mark 7:21-23 – “For from within, out of men’s hearts, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, geed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. All these evils come from inside and make a man ‘unclean.’”
· Jeremiah 17:9 – “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?”
By changing anything but the heart, our attempts are eventually wasted and ineffective.
· Cognitive psychology – “power of positive thinking”
· Behavioral psychology – “change your habits”
All is ultimately meaningless!

When I was about 6 we lived in this haunted house with stairs and a long wooden railing. I had a cat and I remember putting the cat on the railing and for some reason I lead it off the side and it feel about 15 ft down to the ground. In that movement I remember thinking for the first time, “Oh my God, what did I just do?” It was the first time I ever felt it. I had never felt it before. The word we use is shame, but the feeling is just one of weight. We are not really sure where it comes from, and we don’t know how to get it off of us.

Fran and I went to Castaway Bay with the kids Friday and Saturday. Friday night, after the kids were asleep we started watching some show about Grizzly Bears on the Discovery Channel. Nature is cruel. It is cruel beyond compare. It is murderous, violent and without remorse. This male Grizzly Bear tried to attack a female Grizzly and her baby cubs for food. Have you ever seen the lions stalk the antelope until they find the sick one, the old one, the weak one, the baby one? They pounce on that thing and chew it, obliterate it and kill one of their own to do it. The Grizzly Bear wasn’t lying there going, “Oh, I shouldn’t have. They were just babies. Shame on me.” Nope. He’s chewing on the flesh and he doesn’t care.

The question is: Why is it that human kind alone feels this weight? Why is it that nothing else in the creative order feels this?
Whatever that was – conscience, bad tacos, or the Imago Dei (the Image of God in us), it would be a constant companion showing up time and time again, bringing that thought of “Oh my God, what did I just do?” over and over again.

So we’ve got to figure out what we do with these heavy feelings of guilt. Why? Because no one escapes it, not in any culture, not in any place. If you are human, regret and guilt are there whether you grew up in church or not. The Bible is going to tell you that there are two types of guilt. There’s a good type of guilt and then a bad type of guilt. Good guilt is good because of what it produces, and bad guilt is bad because of what it produces. I want to show you both in out time together today.

2 Corinthians 7:10 - For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death.
· 2 kinds of grief/guilt/shame.
· One is a godly grief and the other is a worldly grief, so lets unpack them both beginning with godly grief
2 Samuel 11
· David should have been out at war, but instead he was on his roof and he sees an woman bathing on her roof.
· He asks his servant, “Who is that?” The answer is, “That’s Bathsheba, Uriah’s wife. Uriah, one of your 30 mighty men who is fighting your battle.
· David says, “Bring her to me.” He sleeps with her and she gets pregnant
· David launches plan A: Dispatch to the front and requests that Uriah be sent home
o Get Uriah home, he’ll sleep with his wife and I am out. No one will ever know
o Uriah won’t sleep with is wife until war is won for the king
· Plan B: David gets him drunk
o Bathsheba get her nice dress on, unbuttoned, perfume.
o Uriah won’t even go home because he don’t trust himself
· Plan C: David sends Uriah’s death sentence with Uriah to the General
o General moves Uriah from rear to frontlines and in battle, Uriah is killed.
o David pretends to morn and takes in Bathsheba as his wife in honor of the fallen soldier and within seconds she’s pregnant.
o His plan worked…No one knew.
· Nathan the prophet comes to King David to rule on an issue:
o Very wealthy man who had many sheep and man who had just one lamb that he and his children raised, loved, cared for and held.
o The man with many sheep took the poor man’s lamb, killed it and fed it to a guest.
§ What should we do?
o David stands up and says, “Bring the man here. We will kill this man.”
§ Nathan says, “You’re the man!!”
David immediately breaks and says, “Against you Lord, I have sinned.”
· Backtrack: lust, adultery, deceit, murder – and David says his sin is against God
Godly grief occurs in the understanding that the offense that has occurred is an offense against God.
· It’s not, “Oh, I feel bad that I’ve been outted and now people know I am a dog.” That’s not godly grief.
· Godly grief is, “I have sinned against the Lord. I have wronged the Lord.”
David had contempt (willing disobedience to the known authority of God) against God.
· “All you’ve given me, provided me…cared for me…isn’t enough! I want this…
· He used Bathsheba as a soulless whore…That’s contempt against the Imago Dei.
· He lies, he murders, all of it is an offense against a holy, righteous, Just, and jealous God –
· And David got it – “Against You I have sinned.”
1A: Look Back At Text: 2 Cor. 7:10 – “For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death.”
What happens as a result of godly grief/guilt – when we understand that what really has been harmed is our relationship with God?
· Repentance: is the fruit of godly grief
· Internal change heart and mind leading to external change of living
o If you remove either one, you no longer have what the Bible calls repentance
Ex. Internal change of mind, but no external change in living. You say, “This is what is right, this is what God is asking, this is who He is, this is what we should do, where you internally acknowledge what is right but externally there is not change.
· Easy Believism – Say things like, “Well, God knows my heart,” or “I know what I am doing is wrong, but my case is special because I’ve dealt with a lot.”
Ex. External change of living, but not internal change of mind: Amos 5:21-24
· Gentiles: I hate it when you come to church.
· Being frank, God is saying, “Shut up! Be quiet! I am sick of the games you play. Do you not think I know what’s in your heart? Do you think that on some level you have actually deceived Me by your religious games, constantly acknowledging what is true with your mouth, but having a wicked unrepented heart?
· Matthew 23:25-28 – Pharisees
Internal leading to external = gospel repentance – which, as the text says, leads to life without regret.

Life with no regret: 1 Timothy 1:12-17

12I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has given me strength, that he considered me faithful, appointing me to his service. 13Even though I was once a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent man, I was shown mercy because I acted in ignorance and unbelief. 14The grace of our Lord was poured out on me abundantly, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus. 15Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. 16But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life. 17Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory for ever and ever. Amen.

This is life without regret, not religion with a bunch of clean cut white guys going, “I would never…I have never been to such and such…I would never think such and such…” But the Bible is filled with a bunch of men who are like, “I was wicked…I did do that…I did go there…” In fact the modus operandi of God is to pull out of the darkest recesses of earth those He will save and use.

This is life without regret, “Yes, I imprisoned. Yes, I killed. Yes, I was wicked. Yes, I was violent. Yes, I was horrible. Yes. Yes. Yes. But Praise His name.”
· That is life with no regret, when you are not hiding your secret and shame anymore, but you scream, “Yeah, I was that. In fact, I was that and God still loved me, still came to get me, stilled rescued me. If He could save me who was guilty of all that, don’t you think He might be able to save you?” This is heavy in the Scriptures!
· Living without regret isn’t that there isn’t hurt back there, shame, wounds back there. It is that God has redeemed those things and now used them to display His patience, glory and grace.
· In Christianity, all guilt is birthed out of an offense towards God, is repented of, leads to salvation and a life of no regret.
That’s lane ONE…Let’s look at lane TWO
2 Cor. 7:10 – “For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death.”
Working Definition of worldly grief: Worldly grief/regret is when you feel sorry for something you did because it begins to backfire and it either humiliates you or punishes you.
· “Oh no, I just lost my job because I did this…Oh no, my wife is leaving because I did this…Oh, my children hat me because I did that…Oh, I am seen in the community as a pervert, thief, liar…”
· Worldly grief is what happens when the roof of your mirage is ripped off and people see who you really are and you still don’t want to acknowledge that is who you really are; rather, you still try to hid (fig leaves).
· Knee-jerk reaction of a proud heart and it leads to death!
Here are five things you can do with worldly grief/regret:
1. Try to learn from mistakes and grow. This attempt leads to other 4 we will discuss.
· It does not address the origin of guilt (band aid), because is there isn’t a God and there isn’t an Image Dei, why should be even worry about guilt in the first place? Shouldn’t we just try to just silence it?
· Empirical data shows that as soon as the repercussions of your actions have alleviated/dissipated, you’ll return to whatever you were doing at first (repeat offenders). Proverbs 26:11 – “As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his folly.”
2. People primarily handle guilt and shame by turning up the noise.
· Ex. Jeremy screaming on trip to Castaway – Music goes up!
· Perfect age in history of mankind to turn up the noise…I can work on CPU, listen to music, answer a call on my phone, all while finishing the sentence I am typing… (I remember pagers that looked like garage doors)
· If guilt haunts you, shame chases you, avoid it by busying yourself with work, friends, entertainment, technology…
· As effective as it is, it will eventually catch up to you, because you will eventually have to lay in bed to sleep…
3. Dive into whatever is causing you guilt, which ultimately causes you even more guilt
· Ex. Man addicted to alcohol feels guilt and shame as a result of his drinking, so he drinks to get over the guilt and wakes up with more guilt. This insane cycle continues until he is either dead, in jail, or alone.
· Ex. Person trapped in lust and porn. They will these things to avoid loneliness and to feel, even for a moment, intimacy – even at the expense of intimacy.
· Guy looking at porn while his real, living, breathing, flesh covered, breast having wife is in the other room
· This exposes our sickness.
· So we run to these things without deep relationship to try to get rid of loneliness and feel intimate, and for an instant it works, but then it is gone. And you are left even more alone and feeling used or like you used.
· You’ve just compounded your guilt, not solved it
4. Blame Game: Easy one because there is always someone to blame.
· You don’t have to feel guilty about your actions; you only were doing those things because of what was done to you. If they hadn’t did this, you wouldn’t have done that
o This makes someone else responsible for what you’ve done.
5. Self –Hate
· Subconsciously you will destroy/sabotage everything in your life. You will enter bad relationship after bad relationship. Glutionize, Drunkenize, and mistreat your body.
· At the core it says, “I am not good for anything. I am worthless. I don’t deserve love…” And it’s just as much idolatry as the narcissist who thinks he’s the new god of the universe.
This is why Paul says that worldly grief produces death.
· There is not way to diffuse guilt, there is only ways to feed it!
· John 10:10 – life with no regret, salvation, a way out so that we can humbly go, “I was a piece of work…This is who I was, but praise be to Christ the King for what he has done on my behalf.”
· This is the difference between a worldly guilt that will kill you and a godly grief that leads to life, repentance, and a truly transformed soul.

Next week: Now, what do we do with the fact that, although as believers we’ve repented and turned, we still struggle daily and some of us are stuck in habitual patterns of sin although we love Christ very much? I know that we are all supposed to be nipped and tucked, and well put together, but we are not.
· What do we do with habitual sin in the life of a believer? That’s next week!

But for now, you must be honest with you here. What I think of you, know of you doesn’t matter here. If you are playing religious games, knowing what is right, but perpetually living in what is wrong, hiding your issues and thinking your fooling everyone, including God, you have not fooled Him. People yes, Christ – no.

Question: What about this grief issue? What are you marked with?
Grief birthed out of embarrassment or fear of getting caught? That is worldly sorrow that births death not repentance that leads to life.
Or, do you say as David said, “Against you and you alone Lord have I sinned.” And all you can bring to the table is a broken heart
Broken heart + Gospel = real change!
Let’s Pray